04 Eylül 2023, 15:15 | #1 |
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Üyelik tarihi: 25 Şubat 2015
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Winds Of Change
A text message from a coward changed my life. I was sitting in my truck on my lunch break. My phone chimed with a text and my screen showed me his smiling face. What a fucking joke. The message read, ?I don?t find you sexually attractive anymore.? I hate to admit it but those words broke me. I started crying. I hated myself. I kept crying until my lunch break was over. I walked back into the hospital and faked a smile until my shift was over.At the end of my shift I went home, not remembering driving home. I was numb. My world revolved around him. I felt cast adrift with no one to care one way or another about me.I was nearly thirty. Never married. No children. He was my first real relationship. I poured myself into being what he wanted, what he needed, always putting him above my wants and needs. Excepting the hurtful words about my weight and my age, he?d told me over and over again I never would find another man like him, that I was lucky he?d come into my life.The weeks that followed were the hardest of my life. I managed to drive to work and home without emotions. I hated myself. I felt a desperate desire to get away. What was keeping me in Michigan? My job? It paid the bills but that's it. I didn't have any friends. No family. Just me. Not Malatya Escort even a pet waited for me. I went to bed without any hope.One night I woke up around 3:00 a.m. My heart was racing. I was sweating. My left shoulder was aching. I was having symptoms of a heart attack! With shaking fingers, I pressed nine-one-one and called an ambulance. I had never been so scared in my life. The EKG was okay but my blood pressure was through the roof. After some blood work and tests, the ER doctor told me I hadn?t had a heart attack. I had experienced a severe panic attack.I was thankful, but I felt embarrassed. He was so gentle. He knew me. I was regularly in the ER department for my job.?Wendy,? he said. ?You can talk to me. What's going on??I put my head down and started sobbing. He walked over and shut the door. He took my hand in his. ?Talk to me, Wendy,? he said so sincerely.?My boyfriend said I'm fat and he broke up with me in a text message.?He lifted my chin to meet his eyes. His voice changed. ?Fuck him,? he said in a very angry tone. ?Are you joking? What's his name? Give me the number. I want to talk to him.?I started to laugh, for the first time in a very long time, but the doctor was serious.?Don't be silly,? Malatya Escort Bayan I said.?I'm serious, Wendy.??I know, but I?ll be fine.?He scowled at me. ?Okay, but you need to take a few days off, no argument. I?ll write up the discharge paper and I'm calling your boss so you can't wiggle out of some days off.?I took an Uber home five hours later. I sat at my kitchen table even more defeated and depressed. I turned on my TV and started watching a show called ?Below Deck.? People worked on luxury yachts. Usually a job lasted around six to eight weeks and then they would find their next job. Maybe a new boat, or travel to another country. I binge-watched four seasons of the show. The gorgeous scenery and variety of the people working the charters caught my attention. I had a hospitality background. Could I do this? No. I'm too old. Too fat.But I kept watching the show. I passed out on my couch with the show playing. I dreamed of open blue water, the cry from seabirds overhead, the smell of the ocean, and the easy rocking of the boat.I woke up happy. I didn't talk myself out of it for a change. I started researching jobs. Hours passed. I started making plans. I filled out multiple job applications. I knew it wouldn't Escort Malatya happen overnight but it would happen. I felt it. A warm breeze came through my window. I took it as a good sign. A wind of change.Every day I filled out applications. Even for the big cruise ships. They had a lot of immediate positions to fill.Three weeks later I had my first Zoom interview with a major cruise company. I was so excited. The interview was amazing. The woman asked if I could do an in-person interview in three days in Orlando. I said yes. They would email me my airline ticket and hotel information as soon as the Zoom meeting was over.The next three days were filled with excitement. I bought a sharp new dress and new heels to wear for the interview.And like a bad dream that keeps coming back, I woke up to a missed text from my ex-boyfriend. ?I miss you, Wendy. Can we talk??I looked at it and laughed until I cried. I texted back, ?I'm too fat remember?? I would have blocked him on all social media but I wanted him to see me now. See me happy and hopefully working in the Caribbean.I flew out to Orlando the next day. I met with the head of hiring and then with different department managers including the doctor in charge of the ship?s infirmary. They were hiring for all departments. It felt like a huge job fair. I spent five hours with lunch in between.After the first day, I was directed back to the first interviewer. She smiled and said, ?Wendy, we would like to see you again tomorrow. Can you stay one more night? All expenses paid.?
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